Secretly..

..I'm in a constant state of sadness. I don't know why, I try to fill my time with meaningless activities that seem to either make me mad or worse - sadder. I guess it's just me and maybe I should just give up. I really want to fucking give up, I'm constantly striving for a relationship only to be shot down or thrown away like another piece of trash. It seem clear that I need psychiatric help, yet I don't want to know how close to crazy I really am. Just take me out back and lets get it over with.

Happiness..

..Is a lie. You're never truly happy. That feeling you get you think is happy, ain't happy (yeah I just used ain't get over it). It's a false commodity you hang onto when you think you've got this feeling of happy, but in truth it's just a memory you hang onto and when something makes you think of it, bam - "happiness". Eventually you'll eat yourself away at the concept of happiness, I just gave up. Fuck happiness. After being miserable for so long, nothing really makes me happy. The silliness has stopped being funny and girls.. The girls have become twice as irrational and rash. Honestly a long time ago I gave up. I gave up fucking everything. Want a tip to life? Do what YOU want to do and not what anyone else wants you to do.

Have a wonderful day.