Secretly..

..I'm in a constant state of sadness. I don't know why, I try to fill my time with meaningless activities that seem to either make me mad or worse - sadder. I guess it's just me and maybe I should just give up. I really want to fucking give up, I'm constantly striving for a relationship only to be shot down or thrown away like another piece of trash. It seem clear that I need psychiatric help, yet I don't want to know how close to crazy I really am. Just take me out back and lets get it over with.